|More Things That Piss Me Off
People who refer to themselves in the third person.
You will never hear me say, "Ben doesn't like that" or "How did you expect Ben to
react to that?" Why? Because I am Ben! When I am referring to myself, I use words
like "me" and "I." That's what those words exist for. It takes a special kind of person
to talk as if they weren't in the room. When in reality, everyone else just wishes that
People who thrive on "Shock Value"
Now I am not talking about the individual who just does their own thing and doesn't
give a shit what other people think. They're content to be who they are and have little
or no concern for the opinions of other people. I take my hat off to those people.
The group of people I am referring to tries awfully hard to make you think they
belong in the same category as those mentioned above. They may even be deluded
enough to have convinced themselves, but their actions betray their true motivation.
They enjoy being the center of attention.
Thankfully, you can easily spot these dellusional people. They thrive on the "ripples"
they create in the ocean of life. While the true individuals go about their business with
out concern for society's point of view, these people are slaves to what society
considers "normal." They must be, because they define themselves by their ability to
shake the very foundation on which"normal" is built. They are just as much a part of
the herd as the person who rushes out to by the latests Tommy Hilfiger apparel. I
have no use for these idiots.
This is a term which is often used in the role-playing game community to represent
someone who is more concerned with the letter of the law than enjoyment of the
game. This phenomenon; however, is not limited to this particular demographic group.
Have you ever played Trivia Pursuit with someone who needed the exact answer as
written on the card. "Sorry the card says 'Orinthal James Simpson' I am not going to
be able to accept 'OJ' as a correct answer." But when it's their turn to answer a
question they try to get away with saying "George Bush" and start to whine like
children when you ask which one.
They exist in other venues of life as well. You find them lurking around in the places
where you work and play. The middle manager with the bad comb over who rides
your ass about wanting to leave work 10 minutes early so you can see your
daughter's dance recital even though your work load for the day was finished by
noon because you took your full lunch break.
These people need to be killed and broken down into their base elemental
components. They would serve the whole of humanity in a much more meaningful
purpose if broken down into oxygen, water, and fertilizer.
People who specifically do not invite my wife, or significant other, somewhere
This is a personal pet peeve of mine. There are some places it is just "understood"
that spouses, etc, are not coming along... If Jake calls up and asks if I want to go to
the strip club with him, I'm not going to ask if I can if I can bring the woman in my
life. That's a given...
However, if anyone calls and specifically says, "I don't want her along." Well then, I
ain't going either. When I worked at Schneider National, spouses were specifically
not invited to the company picnic. I didn't go either. I don't go where she isn't
welcome. I never have, and I never will.
People who give unsolicited advice
Look jackass, if I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it. I am not shy. Until you
hear the words, "What do you think?" come out of my mouth, keep your fucking
opinion to yourself.
People who mistake courtesy for acceptance
Just because I am not yelling, doesn't mean I approve of your behavior. The fact of
the matter is, I respect your right to be a waste of atomic matter. If you want to be an
ignorant dip shit your whole life, I don't care. My opinion of you should be as
important to you as your opinion of me is to me. And that amounts to slightly less
If, in public, you wish to behave as if you are the center of the universe, be
forewarned that our association will be brief. I expect a certain level of decorum from
other adults. If that level is not met, I will remove myself from the situation. Believe
me, it's more for your benefit than mine.
However, should your juvenille behavior continue in a location where my opinion
does matter, like within the walls of my home, do not think for one minute I will
I recently started a new job... One of the first things they did was outline my "job
expectations." What the fuck is a job "expectation"? So I asked what would happen if
I failled to meet their "expectations." They said that I would be "released to seek
other employment." Again, what the fuck?
Doesn't anyone get "fired" anymore? And, if I am to be "released" if I fail to meet
these "expectations," then they are requirements - Not expectations... Making my
bed in the morning is an expectation. It is one I regularly fail to meet. And the person
or persons expecting it to be done have learned to cope with disappointment.