Prison Reform
The Free Prison System: I don't know about any of you, but I am sick of working
my ass off so that I can pay taxes to feed some dumb son of a bitch who has either
raped, beaten and/or killed another human being. Prisons in the US are
overcrowded. They are costly. And their value has yet to be proven.

My answer to this growing problem is simple. We pick a square state and wall the
whole damn thing off. "Why a square state?" you ask. Well, it is a matter of space
constraints and cost. It is far cheaper to build a fence to quarantine a square or
rectalgular area than a state the shape of Texas or Louisiana. (Besides, We'd miss
New Orleans.)

The wall should be at least 80 feet tall and 30 feet thick. The top of the wall needs
to have crenulation as to give the armed guards patrolling a clear view of the
prison's interior. Some type of protective grating should cover the openings to
prevent creative inmates from attacking the guards.

There should be two entrances into the area. Each a fortified bunker reforced in
such a way that Norman Schwartzkoff creams his jeans just thinking about it. One
should be large enough to admit motorized vehicles. This allows the flexiblity of
using heavy artillery if necessary. (I don't think the need would arise, but it never
hurts to plan.) This also allows for the use of heavy equipment to repair any
damage that may result over the course of time.

The other man sized. These entrances should be constructed in such a way as to
allow people to freely enter but prohibit
ANY chance of being able to exit. The key
to this system working effectively is too create a human equivelant to a "Roach

The guards must be thoroughly screened. The best people to use, in my opinion,
would be hunters who've lost loved ones to violent criminals if not the victims
themselves. This would ensure that prisoners are given the respect and treatment
they so truly deserve. If any person inside the prison approaches with in 100 feet
of the interior wall, the guards should dispatch said individual with extreme

Beyond these strictures, I see no need to babysit or feed a portion of the
population which we'd be better off with out. Simple as that. The inmates are
allowed to do what ever they please as long as it takes place more than 100 feet
from the exterior wall. If they want to eat, then I suggest they learn to farm or
hunt. If they want to beat, kill, and molest each other, let them. Who gives a shit?

The Questions...

Q: What about the rights of the prisoners?

A: WHAT RIGHTS? I am not talking about Tony, the guy stopped for speeding
here. I am talking about violent criminals. What rights do they deserve? What
about the rights of their victims? Take this whiney ass human rights bullshit
somewhere else. As long as my children are walking the streets, I don't care two
pinces of shit what right Johnny the convicted child molester thinks he is entitled to.

I am sick of paying to keep people alive who survive merely because they found a
way to short circuit the theory of evolution. In some instances, prison inmates
receive free college level educations and earn money while in jail. They are treated
better than some people who work their asses off to go to college and make
something of themselves. Why do they deserve this windfall? Why should we be
forced to pay for it?

Q: How do you plan to pay for this?

A: Three words PAY PER VIEW !!! We'll put up a dedicated satellite and remote
cameras throughout the prison. If the Survivor phenomenon taught us anything
about the American television audience it was this, people today are sick and
twisted. They will pay to see anything that involves a true story of human
suffering. At $6.95 for a six hour block I think it would have paid for itsself within
the first five years.

And, even of it is not completely selfsufficient, the total yearly expenses of this
type of facility would be dramatically less than running our current prison system.
The reduced number of guards necessary compared to running the multiple federal
and state facilities alone is enormous. Add to that the fact that we are no longer
supplying food and medical care to these inmates and you can see the substantial

Q: Are you really that much of an asshole?

A: Why yes I am. Just ask anyone who knows me, and they'll tell you.

This concludes my diatribe on the free prison system. The floor is open to debate.

Remember vote BEN in 2012... He can't be any worse...